Accomplice not victim!!

Hollywood especially and movie business in general is all about making and selling dreams. The common man looks at the world of movies with a mix of awe and amazement. It is their escape from the daily grind of reality. It is not that the non-filmi men and women are interested in movies alone; the personal lives of the people that are part of the movie business too attract a lot of attention from their fans. However, the reality is that the movie people are as much good or bad as your next person.

Harvey Weinstein is a or was a famous Hollywood producer, who has produced films like Pulp Fiction, The Lord of the Rings, The Artist and Silver Lining Playbook. As reported by the New York Times and The New Yorker, he over the years have sexually harassed, assaulted and raped dozen of women. The list includes many A-list actresses such as Heather Graham, Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow. Although on his behalf his spokesman has denied the rape charges but has not denied the rest of the allegations. Mr. Weinstein has been relieved from his duties at his production company and is currently on a sabbatical and is pursuing therapy and counseling to “deal with this issue head on”.

Sexual Harassment, in short is bullying and coercion of a sexual nature or the unwelcome promise of rewards in exchange for sexual favors. The term was first used in the 1970’s but sexual harassment existed even before that and in every culture in one form or the other. But the recent Harvey Weinstein controversy has really lit up this issue like never before; an issue that all prefer to hush-up and keep mum about. 

I have no sympathies for the man, frankly I do not. It is not because I am not allowed to but because he is really a sick man and his actions demands that he should be kept away until he is not fit to be part of the human society. But someone has to look on the other side of the coin too. Was he alone in this? This is a big question. All those women who are today coming out, breaking their silence and are saying that they were subject to sexual harassment at the hands of Harvey include actresses, temps and production assistants from Harvey’s production company. Few of them even made out of court of settlements. I seriously believe that they are responsible for the next girl that had to go through that disgusting experience because it was their silence or whatever reason they have made up to soothe their conscious that encouraged Harvey to continue with his antics and prey on other women.

I also feel that in this scenario Harvey is a victim too because all these starlets that were in their struggling phase benefitted from his vulnerability and used his weakness to boost their own careers. They could have taken the high road and have said “no” and should have made noise, loud enough so that others could have got warned. Today, it is easier to chant “Me too” or point fingers towards the fallen film producer. It really had meant something if they had done it when it was their moment to seize the moment. It surely must have cost them something but they preferred their own tiny goals over greater good of all.

I know ours is not an easy world for women and you do not have to be a feminist to feel for the women. The reality of our times is that we are selling mere symbols in the name of women empowerment. Frankly, we ourselves believe that by shunning dopatta or barring a female midriff means empowerment or her dancing with men means freedom. All this has nothing to do with women empowerment; all this is just further exploitation of women. This does not make women safe at the work place. However, it can also not be achieved through education and by changing the social perception of women alone; because there will always be powerful, there to exploit. So, the only solution to this problem is speaking up and speaking up at the right moment, ready to face whatever the resultant challenges will be.

If you have faced sexual harassment you are a victim but if you do not do something about it timely, then you are an accomplice.

I am not proud of my wife!!

The word proud is defined as a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction which is a result of one’s own achievements. Keeping in mind the definition and me, my wife can never be proud, at least of me. However, the last time when I told my wife that I am proud of her she replied what do you want to eat for dinner? She thought I am buttering her to get some butter chicken.

Husband and wife share a very complex relationship. It is a relationship in which you can see shades of all other relationships. A wife if the situation demands even assumes the role of a mother to her husband. I sincerely believe that a woman when reaches at the epitome of any of her relationships she turns into a mother whether she has started as a sister, friend or a wife. Motherly instincts come natural to almost all the women. It is not some social construct but a part of a female gene pool.

It is not mandatory for husbands and wives to be proud of each other, they should be in love with each other, they should be at war with each other, and they should be at peace with each other. It is the others who should be proud of them not they, themselves because being proud means full stop, stagnation and the relationship of a husband and wife do not need that, they as a person and being part of that marital relationship should be ever growing and evolving. So all those who are reading these lines and are married, please do not be proud of your better halves, be in love with them; in their good and in their bad.

Putting our own house in order

Recently a lot has been said and is being said about “putting our own house in order”; from the interior minister to the prime minister, all voiced their support for the notion. Our foreign minister while talking at the Asian Society event in New York very frankly and boldly explained Pakistan’s narrative but he too reiterated what his colleagues from the national cabinet said.

This wave of enlightenment in not home grown but is a result of a Trump tirade at the Fort Myer, the tirade which is now commonly known as the Trump administration’s Afghan policy. The policy not only puts all the blame of America’s great Afghan failure on Pakistan but it goes beyond that and calls Pakistan a supporter of terrorism as the safe heavens of Afghan Taliban are situated in Pakistan; in short Pakistan is responsible for everything that is wrong with Afghanistan today. Something that adds insult to injury, the policy talks about giving India a greater role in Afghanistan’s development. India as being the partner in Afghan development means more Indian soft power in Afghanistan and a further positive image. This policy not only undermines Pakistan’s role and sacrifices in the war against terror but it also shows Pakistan as some country that is always ready to peel off whatever US dollars they get their hands on. This policy has less to do with rebuilding a safer Afghanistan but has more to do with a US containment policy of China; in that policy India is an important cog while Pakistan being a friend of China naturally has to take all the blame. The policy is welcomed in Kabul and New Delhi as it establishes their stance.

The US Afghan policy is not the lone stimulant that has triggered this thinking of putting your own house in order, in the recently concluded BRICS summit; many outfits which are usually denoted with Pakistan were dubbed as responsible for violence in the region. This happened in presence of Russia and China, who support Pakistan’s stance of an indigenous, Afghan led regional approach to the Afghan problem and were also the first two countries that voiced their dissent against the new American Afghan policy. The possible justification for this can be that is both China and Russia house a sizeable Muslim population and their Muslim population has a history of separatist movements and violence, in the times of Al-Qaeda and ISIS, when extremism and militancy are not geographically bound, thus fearing for any backlash at the home soil such preemptive action is justified. Instead of lamenting our friends we should be aware of their limitations and compulsions. Every country has the right to act in their national interests. Country to country relations are based on the convergence of national interests.

This brings me back to the home front and to our above mentioned debate, for the last decade or so; Pakistan is putting her own house in order; from the operation Al-Mizan to the ongoing operation Radd-ul-Fasaad, all these military operations were and are directed towards the home grown menace of terrorism so by so that in the times of former Army chief, General Ashfaq Pervez Kayani, Pakistan Army saw a paradigm shift in its doctrine and the internal security threats were declared a bigger threat then the traditional Indian centric threat, which has been the mainstay of Pakistan’s national security since her inception. So, it will be unjust to say that there is no kind of awareness or understanding exists in Pakistan. These actions pretty much talk for themselves and tell that Pakistan is well aware and awake.

However, the bigger question is what should be done in the aftermath of the recent happenings? Pakistan should look at all of her options carefully. A rational and practical policy with a long sighted vision should be adopted. It would be wrong to not to engage with the US as some hawks suggest. We should keep in mind that even today US is the biggest market of Pakistani products and is home to a sizeable number of Pakistani expatriates, whose remittances are very important to Pakistan’s financial survival other than that US is still a super power. Pakistan should also continue her support for the Afghan led peace process as peace in Afghanistan ensures peace in Pakistan. Pakistan should also look at improving her bilateral ties with Afghanistan, people to people contact should be encouraged and more and more Afghan students should be given admissions in Pakistan’s educational institutions. The Afghan refugees can also help to establish goodwill between the two countries. Pakistan can achieve this just by making their stay in Pakistan a bit more comfortable.

It is for Pakistan to realize that if the world demands heads, we at least have to give them some limbs.

Love letters from the past

We all are in love with the beauty of nothing

Like a bubble’s wish to live forever

Like a pain we all savor

We abhor the no

But how complete an answer it is

Buildings, corridors and memories

What they even mean if nobody cherishes them

The void that everyone tries to fill

With a dump of emotions

Rotten farewells

Old letters

Expired gifts

There is a box that contains all this

The box that has love letters from the past

The words that now mean nothing

The words that meant a world once

Why to carry a weight

That neither kills you nor drowns you

Why live in past

Why to drive around a roundabout again and again

When you can go straight  

We love to hate Dr. Aamir Liaquat Hussian

Dr. Aamir Liaquat Hussain is many things but currently he is an anchorperson and is associated with the BOL channel. Recently, he made headlines again when he visited Myanmar along with the famous TV host Waqar Zaka to highlight the plight of the Rohingya Muslims, who are facing atrocities at the hands of the Myanmar authorities. Reportedly he was detained at the Rangoon airport when he told the local authorities about the nature of his visit and then was later deported. He has safely reached Pakistan. 

On the home front, his sojourn to Myanmar has ignited a variety of reactions; some have applauded him for his step while many keeping in mind his persona and past antics called the whole initiative just a TRP exercise. Some even went a step ahead and called that he did not even had the ticket or visa to go to Myanmar and all this is mere cosmetics.  

The reality is that we all love to hate Dr. Aamir Liaquat Hussain. We call him a poser but his Ramzan transmission has the highest TRP ratings. We blame him for commercialization of Ramzan but somewhere in-between we forget about all the price hiking and black marketing that takes place during Ramzan. We question his antics on television but forget that up to what extent we go, on the national television for unique kee bike or a Q-mobile. I accept that Dr. Aamir Liaquat Hussain is not perfect but is he the only thing that is wrong with us and our society? Blaming him does not rid us of what we are. Like any other human he must have a good side but this does not attract our attention because you cannot mock a person for a good deed and this also do not fulfill our ulterior motive which is to fetch ourselves as many as likes or re-tweets possible. In order to become sarcastic we are fast becoming pejorative.

Today only negativity sells and we are the biggest buyers of all. In our pursuit of negativity, we have become myopic to the extent that we have ceased to appreciate positivity of any kind. We believe there is conspiracy behind everything even if it is Pakistan’s Champion trophy victory or Malala winning the Nobel peace prize. We think so low of ourselves, that we believe that we lack the spine to achieve anything on our own. How someone like Malala who has become a face of girl education and female rights, internationally can be our enemy. Even if we suppose that she is a western stooge for a minute, in short an imposter still what she represents by all means is only good and best for our girls. If you do not want to support Malala, do not do it but support her message. Sometimes it does not matter who is saying, the thing that really matters is what he or she is saying. In our hate for that particular person we forget this very thing. We refuse to accept the possibility that something good can come out of that person.

This brings me back to Dr. Aamir Liaquat Hussain and his visit to Myanmar. Suddenly all of us have become altruistic but none of this altruism is directed towards the Rohingya Muslims instead we are praying for the martyrdom of Dr. Amir Liaquat Hussain in Myanmar. Various memes are being made and shared on the social media websites which mock him and his initiative. I guess somewhere in their heads they still think that all of this is just some segment of his game show but in actuality it is not and mind you martyrdom is not some “lawn kee sale” that anyone can get it.

Personally, I think that even if it is just a symbolic gesture on his part it is more powerful than most of the words we have said in the support of the Rohingyas and is above all the mock and flogging he is receiving at the moment mainly because it involves a practical action. He could have joined all those who are busy beating their chests and are giving empty rhetoric on media platforms in support of Rohingya Muslims and against the government of Myanmar, believe me he could have done this better than all of them but instead he choose to go there in person, to experience their misery first hand. This feat is worthy of being copied, if not copied then surely it should be appreciated and encouraged. This is the least we all can do. Until when we will continue to play the crowd to a lynching, silent witnesses to a vani or a kar-o-karee or will continue to vote ourselves out? We have to stand for ourselves. Before anything we should realize and recognize that there is a problem in our collective attitudes and behaviors and it needs to be rectified. We have to grow patience and respect for others and their actions which do not conform to us. We should respect the personal space of the others if we want our personal space to be respected.  

We should realize that it is not the face but the message that matters.

(A version of this piece has been published by the blog section of the Express Tribune on 15th September, 2017)

Love and Marriage

Truth is said to be the first casualty of war. The same is said for love and intellect. Intellect is the price that one has to pay for getting love. This assumption is rather false as it is not in love but marriage, where one has to lose his wit and at times guts too. Marriage starts from the point where love ends. It is evident from all the great love stories from Romeo Juliet to our very own Heer Ranjha. You will find only two similarities between all these stories, one is love and the second is that the lead protagonists never got married.

One thing is for sure that all these legendary love stories would not have been such legends if those lovelorns had married each other. Romeo would have still died but not by drinking poison by eating the “teen’daas” that Juliet would have cooked for him. Ranjha instead of running “I hate Qaido club” would have organized a “Qaido fan club” as that crippled, bhung enthusiast was the only one who tried to talk some sense into Ranjha. Had Sohni opted for an uber ride instead of that ill-fated attempt to cross the river with the help of a clay pitcher, then Mahiwal would have been dropping-off children at school and buying “unda double roti” for life instead of grazing buffaloes for Sohni’s father. Punhunn instead of passing as a washer man for Sassi’s father would only needed a “sarkari nokri” to qualify for Saasi’s hand in marriage. On the other hand, assume had these couples been alive in today’s time and day, I assure you that they have still stayed unmarried but because of variety of reasons such as dowry, phupho ka bay’ta, mah life mah rules and papa kee princess attitude of the girls. In short marriage is the “m” in love means there is no marriage in love.

Jokes apart, the truth is that I was lying until now just to make you to read these last two paragraphs. Marriage is the logical conclusion of love. If love is Fakhar Zaman’s century then marriage is Aamir’s three wickets; you cannot win a match without both. The amount of happiness that one gains from love and then marriage, does not requires one to be an Einstein to feel it, a mere simple human made of flesh and blood can feel it.

Love also do not deprive you from intellect, it is a world of its own which has its own standards of sagacity and wisdom. Love enriches you in such ways that Mansoor starts chanting An-al-Haq; you no longer stay you, you become theirs and them. This transformation can only be understood by those who go through the ordeal of loving someone. May you get love and marriage; whichever of these two gifts come first always hope and pray that it is followed by the second one. May your love be the sea where intellect floats and hate drowns.     

The girl with a big yellow umbrella

No sun rays

No raindrops that are pouring

No unwanted gaze can reach her

Her big yellow umbrella keeps every unwanted thing away

Walking while holding it in her hands, she looks like some burning meteor

But for many she is a shooting star

They wish upon watching her

Their days turn brighter than that yellow umbrella

There are legends about her

Some say she is a princess on the run

Some call her the lady of the night

Some just call her ordinary

Some wish, some lust and some fear her

But still everybody thinks about her, talks about her

And she like any dream lives on passes by but nobody can catch her

A futile pursuit

But a worthy one

If that yellow umbrella do not make its way through the street

We fear that the sun might not come out

The time will stop breathing

In short, that yellow umbrella is imperative for our survival

The truth is  

She has no name

No address

But a single identity

The girl with a big yellow umbrella