Accomplice not victim!!

Hollywood especially and movie business in general is all about making and selling dreams. The common man looks at the world of movies with a mix of awe and amazement. It is their escape from the daily grind of reality. It is not that the non-filmi men and women are interested in movies alone; the personal lives of the people that are part of the movie business too attract a lot of attention from their fans. However, the reality is that the movie people are as much good or bad as your next person.

Harvey Weinstein is a or was a famous Hollywood producer, who has produced films like Pulp Fiction, The Lord of the Rings, The Artist and Silver Lining Playbook. As reported by the New York Times and The New Yorker, he over the years have sexually harassed, assaulted and raped dozen of women. The list includes many A-list actresses such as Heather Graham, Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow. Although on his behalf his spokesman has denied the rape charges but has not denied the rest of the allegations. Mr. Weinstein has been relieved from his duties at his production company and is currently on a sabbatical and is pursuing therapy and counseling to “deal with this issue head on”.

Sexual Harassment, in short is bullying and coercion of a sexual nature or the unwelcome promise of rewards in exchange for sexual favors. The term was first used in the 1970’s but sexual harassment existed even before that and in every culture in one form or the other. But the recent Harvey Weinstein controversy has really lit up this issue like never before; an issue that all prefer to hush-up and keep mum about. 

I have no sympathies for the man, frankly I do not. It is not because I am not allowed to but because he is really a sick man and his actions demands that he should be kept away until he is not fit to be part of the human society. But someone has to look on the other side of the coin too. Was he alone in this? This is a big question. All those women who are today coming out, breaking their silence and are saying that they were subject to sexual harassment at the hands of Harvey include actresses, temps and production assistants from Harvey’s production company. Few of them even made out of court of settlements. I seriously believe that they are responsible for the next girl that had to go through that disgusting experience because it was their silence or whatever reason they have made up to soothe their conscious that encouraged Harvey to continue with his antics and prey on other women.

I also feel that in this scenario Harvey is a victim too because all these starlets that were in their struggling phase benefitted from his vulnerability and used his weakness to boost their own careers. They could have taken the high road and have said “no” and should have made noise, loud enough so that others could have got warned. Today, it is easier to chant “Me too” or point fingers towards the fallen film producer. It really had meant something if they had done it when it was their moment to seize the moment. It surely must have cost them something but they preferred their own tiny goals over greater good of all.

I know ours is not an easy world for women and you do not have to be a feminist to feel for the women. The reality of our times is that we are selling mere symbols in the name of women empowerment. Frankly, we ourselves believe that by shunning dopatta or barring a female midriff means empowerment or her dancing with men means freedom. All this has nothing to do with women empowerment; all this is just further exploitation of women. This does not make women safe at the work place. However, it can also not be achieved through education and by changing the social perception of women alone; because there will always be powerful, there to exploit. So, the only solution to this problem is speaking up and speaking up at the right moment, ready to face whatever the resultant challenges will be.

If you have faced sexual harassment you are a victim but if you do not do something about it timely, then you are an accomplice.

I am not proud of my wife!!

The word proud is defined as a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction which is a result of one’s own achievements. Keeping in mind the definition and me, my wife can never be proud, at least of me. However, the last time when I told my wife that I am proud of her she replied what do you want to eat for dinner? She thought I am buttering her to get some butter chicken.

Husband and wife share a very complex relationship. It is a relationship in which you can see shades of all other relationships. A wife if the situation demands even assumes the role of a mother to her husband. I sincerely believe that a woman when reaches at the epitome of any of her relationships she turns into a mother whether she has started as a sister, friend or a wife. Motherly instincts come natural to almost all the women. It is not some social construct but a part of a female gene pool.

It is not mandatory for husbands and wives to be proud of each other, they should be in love with each other, they should be at war with each other, and they should be at peace with each other. It is the others who should be proud of them not they, themselves because being proud means full stop, stagnation and the relationship of a husband and wife do not need that, they as a person and being part of that marital relationship should be ever growing and evolving. So all those who are reading these lines and are married, please do not be proud of your better halves, be in love with them; in their good and in their bad.

Putting our own house in order

Recently a lot has been said and is being said about “putting our own house in order”; from the interior minister to the prime minister, all voiced their support for the notion. Our foreign minister while talking at the Asian Society event in New York very frankly and boldly explained Pakistan’s narrative but he too reiterated what his colleagues from the national cabinet said.

This wave of enlightenment in not home grown but is a result of a Trump tirade at the Fort Myer, the tirade which is now commonly known as the Trump administration’s Afghan policy. The policy not only puts all the blame of America’s great Afghan failure on Pakistan but it goes beyond that and calls Pakistan a supporter of terrorism as the safe heavens of Afghan Taliban are situated in Pakistan; in short Pakistan is responsible for everything that is wrong with Afghanistan today. Something that adds insult to injury, the policy talks about giving India a greater role in Afghanistan’s development. India as being the partner in Afghan development means more Indian soft power in Afghanistan and a further positive image. This policy not only undermines Pakistan’s role and sacrifices in the war against terror but it also shows Pakistan as some country that is always ready to peel off whatever US dollars they get their hands on. This policy has less to do with rebuilding a safer Afghanistan but has more to do with a US containment policy of China; in that policy India is an important cog while Pakistan being a friend of China naturally has to take all the blame. The policy is welcomed in Kabul and New Delhi as it establishes their stance.

The US Afghan policy is not the lone stimulant that has triggered this thinking of putting your own house in order, in the recently concluded BRICS summit; many outfits which are usually denoted with Pakistan were dubbed as responsible for violence in the region. This happened in presence of Russia and China, who support Pakistan’s stance of an indigenous, Afghan led regional approach to the Afghan problem and were also the first two countries that voiced their dissent against the new American Afghan policy. The possible justification for this can be that is both China and Russia house a sizeable Muslim population and their Muslim population has a history of separatist movements and violence, in the times of Al-Qaeda and ISIS, when extremism and militancy are not geographically bound, thus fearing for any backlash at the home soil such preemptive action is justified. Instead of lamenting our friends we should be aware of their limitations and compulsions. Every country has the right to act in their national interests. Country to country relations are based on the convergence of national interests.

This brings me back to the home front and to our above mentioned debate, for the last decade or so; Pakistan is putting her own house in order; from the operation Al-Mizan to the ongoing operation Radd-ul-Fasaad, all these military operations were and are directed towards the home grown menace of terrorism so by so that in the times of former Army chief, General Ashfaq Pervez Kayani, Pakistan Army saw a paradigm shift in its doctrine and the internal security threats were declared a bigger threat then the traditional Indian centric threat, which has been the mainstay of Pakistan’s national security since her inception. So, it will be unjust to say that there is no kind of awareness or understanding exists in Pakistan. These actions pretty much talk for themselves and tell that Pakistan is well aware and awake.

However, the bigger question is what should be done in the aftermath of the recent happenings? Pakistan should look at all of her options carefully. A rational and practical policy with a long sighted vision should be adopted. It would be wrong to not to engage with the US as some hawks suggest. We should keep in mind that even today US is the biggest market of Pakistani products and is home to a sizeable number of Pakistani expatriates, whose remittances are very important to Pakistan’s financial survival other than that US is still a super power. Pakistan should also continue her support for the Afghan led peace process as peace in Afghanistan ensures peace in Pakistan. Pakistan should also look at improving her bilateral ties with Afghanistan, people to people contact should be encouraged and more and more Afghan students should be given admissions in Pakistan’s educational institutions. The Afghan refugees can also help to establish goodwill between the two countries. Pakistan can achieve this just by making their stay in Pakistan a bit more comfortable.

It is for Pakistan to realize that if the world demands heads, we at least have to give them some limbs.