Men in a male dominated society

A Patriarchal society is defined as a society where a social system is in place in which men hold primary power and are predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege and control of property. On the contrary matriarchal society is a society in which females, especially mothers, have the central roles of political leadership, moral authority, and control of property.

Human history has witnessed both the patriarchal and the matriarchal society. In the Stone Age, when farming was yet to be invented and the humans were dependent on hunting to fulfill their dietary needs. So, in the hunting when men were away it were the women who became the head of the family but once the farming was invented, men started to stay back and thus the patriarchal society started finding its roots in the human civilization.

Usually it is truly said that a patriarchal society is not good for women because it favors men. However, no one thinks that a patriarchal society or in simpler words a male dominated society is not good for men too.

A male dominated society sets standards of masculinity and expects the men to act in a certain way and if he does not comply, his masculinity comes under question. These societies projects and promotes role models. It is one size fits all model. Resultantly, a male is more under pressure than a female and the miserable part is that he is not even allowed to show that he is nervous or is feeling week because the society's definition of a man does not allows a man to be weak or anxious.

A patriarchal society projects a man as someone who is a provider, who is the decision maker because he is wise and sagacious; he is responsible because women are not and he is the custodian of honor because women are the honor but they are weak and gullible. So, with this understanding there is no room left for a man to be human. He is not allowed to make any mistakes; the basic human privilege. He cannot falter and will only do good by all. With these desired qualities, all males all expected to act in a single manner or way. You cannot be your own man. Other than being pure evil, one possible reason of bad treatment meted to women at the hands of men is because of their internal fissure and frustration. Their inability to fulfill the role the society expects of them or they do not feel comfortable in their socially defined role and whenever someone points out that and usually it is a woman, they try to suppress it through force and take solace in the social values that makes them, “the man”. 

So, a society where there is equality or near to equality between the both genders, that society establishes space for an individual to be him or herself. That society enables them to grow at their own pace and do not pressurize them with expectations. That society is free from performance anxiety. 

Usually religion is quoted to justify the current social arrangement but interestingly Islam is a religion that in fact preaches gender equality. Its understanding of gender specific roles is based on the roles that are assigned by the nature to men and women. They are the way they are because the nature wants it to be that way. Those roles are not transferable and are meant to be performed by the particular gender. Otherwise, it does not give any superiority to one gender over the other.

I am not favoring any deviance from social or natural segregation; I am talking about stereotyping masculinity and for that matter femininity. There should not be some set roles that only a male should perform because of his gender. For starters we can make the kitchen a gender neutral territory or taking care of the family not a woman only thing especially holding a child. Roles like these should not be restricted to one gender. The society should be open and should make room for any such role "reversal". Above all should stop judging, every household has their own problems and many fail to come out of these problems because there answer to that problem is not what the society advises. The book of solutions that the society gives you at the time of orientation needs some amendments now and the time is ripe for these long due changes.

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