Something for our daughters

It is a reality that women in Pakistan are far from being emancipated and are not treated at par with men. This bias is deeply embedded in our social structure but when a woman gets an opportunity to break free from these social shackles, at the same time she becomes responsible for other women too. It becomes her responsibility that with her character and actions becomes a role model for others. If she fails somehow, she fails the other too. Her failure closes door of opportunity for other too. This responsibility does not mean to bear with being harassed, to be undermined or being asked for sexual favors.

Our society too is embracing this change, gradually. But still a lot of distance has to be covered. The definition of modern woman does not fit in our society’s definition of woman. It still suspects the character of a working woman. We still nurture our pre-conceived notions.

At the same time it is important to remember that there is a social red line which has to be respected. Our society can never be and should never become like the one in the west. It should maintain its individuality. We should retain our social soul which is a mix of the old eastern values and our Islamic identity but at the same time we should remove all such social practices which have become redundant and act as an obstacle in our nation’s development and progress. In short, we should shun such social practices but not dopatta. The problem is that according to some, the social symbols which are attributed with our women are the tools and means through which women are oppressed. Similarly, there are sections in our society who think that wearing a pair of jeans make a female’s character lewd. Both are wrong in their assumptions as mentioned above, on the contrary, it is the social structure that has to be amended and the process of “social synthesis” should be supported. It is important that this process should an ongoing one. The example of Khadija Siddiqi’s case can be used here. She was being admonished for a relationship, a relationship in which she was not the lone stakeholder and most importantly the relationship was not the subject matter of that case. Judiciary of Punjab especially the chief justice should be praised for taking a personal interest in the case. Such precedents will give courage to other women too, who have to bear exploitation in the name of honor, respect, religion and society.

This brings me to Ayesha Gulalai and her shocking revelations. Something that makes these claims more shocking is the fact that they are aimed at Imran Khan, the PTI chief and a Prime Minister hopeful. Imran’s past life makes many to happily buy Ayesha’s claims. Her accusations range from allegations of financial corruption to sending of inappropriate messages by Mr. Khan.

I am no one to judge here. Frankly, I have more sympathies for Miss Ayesha than Mr. Khan. , Keeping in mind her tribal roots, her path to MNAship would not have been an easy one. The tribal belt, commonly known as FATA is traditionally seen as a regressive society. But her father not only supported her but also supported her younger sister, Maria Toor who plays squash and has also represented Pakistan at the international level, against all odds. Like the rest of Pakistan, FATA too is changing, this year; Zarmina Wazir became the first female from FATA to be allocated to the prestigious Pakistan Administrative Services not only that, she also topped among the candidates from FATA. Ayesha, if not was the change; she surely was and is the face of changing Pakistan in general and FATA in particular.

This brings me back to my earlier argument; this opportunity and responsibility make her responsible for others too. She claims that Mr. Khan sent her a lewd message for the first time in 2013, it would have been better, had she gone public with the accusations, right away and right then. Bringing those alleged messages into public notice after 4 years makes her case weak and her intentions suspicious.

I reiterate that I am not a judge but I seriously believe that these allegations should be investigated thoroughly and whosoever is found of any wrongdoing whether Mr. Khan (i.e. for inappropriate behavior and financial corruptions) or Miss Ayesha (i.e. for labeling false accusations), an example should be made out of them. So, nobody, in future, can use their position to exploit anyone else. There are other reasons too, which highlight why a stern action is imperative. It is important because we need to strengthen that confidence which has been achieved after so many sacrifices and hardships. It is important that nobody uses his or her gender to exploit other or use his or her gender as a shield or an excuse and it is also important because no one of us wants that door of opportunity to close for our daughters. After all, all of us want a society that treats our daughters well, as an equal and without any discrimination, a society which gives them an equal opportunity to grow. We all owe this to our daughters.