While
growing up like any child I also had a very active imagination so, I use to
think that there is an invisible world, full of people just like us live around
us; they are there when we are strolling in the streets, they are sitting next
to us in a diner engulfed in discussions. They are the world we can’t see and
touch but just imagine. But then I grew up and that world seized to exist.
Recently,
after the Me Too campaign and celebrities sharing their ordeal of child abuse
after the Zainab incident makes me to wonder that that world was not that
imaginary after all. In actuality that world exists, breathes on our necks.
However it is not invisible they are real people on the contrary it is the
pain, the agony, and the wounds of the victims and the face of the abuser that
is invisible. You do not know, you do not tell that are you sitting next to a
victim or an abuser both of them can be anybody. You can only be sure about
yourself but sometimes even you can’t be sure about yourself.
Fasih Ahmed,
Newsweek Pakistan editor is receiving a lot of flogging for his insensitive
tweets on the sensitive matter of child abuse. Although all the things he said
are not wrong. The reality is we can never bring an abuse of any kind to zero.
Every normal society has an abnormal lot. But this scary and ugly reality
should not deter us instead it should make us wary of our surroundings. We
should look above our shoulders and protect not only our own but also all the
other potential victims be it someone on the street or in our house or the
house next to us. This fight is a collective one. It demands of us to put up a
joint vigilance and guard. State can only provide laws and machinery that
ensures apprehension and punishments but we- the society can do more and that
is stopping such incident from taking place. We are powerful enough to fight this
because we have the numbers and the eyes and ears that are required to fight
this war on ground.
We
repeatedly claim and take pride in the fact that our society is far more united
and closely knitted as compare to the western societies and how our value
system is our anchor that boor our ship. Though the claim is not that false but
the thing about child abuse is that most of the times the abuser is an
acquaintance with his/her prey. Our society is too conservative to accept this
while the western societies are too individualistic to beat this chain of
abuse. However our social institutions are better equipped to fight this war
but it requires some tweaking. It is also our social values in which all these
abusers take refuge and garner their power from. All these crimes are bared,
accepted and swept under the carpet in the name of honor. However it should not
be the victim who should be ashamed but the abuser. The need of the hour is to
withdraw that support and shelter and for that our society requires some
“social genetic engineering”. I have used the term social genetic engineering
here because after any such incident we look at changing all of our social value
system; the funny thing is that we do the same with our democracy and political
system. You get rid of the effected part not the whole body.
It has been
observed that the sex abusers have multiple victims. If we apprehend an abuser
right up, we can surely protect many potential victims. For this we do not need
a whole sex education class but lectures delivered to young kids about good or
bad touch and stranger danger that too not only in schools but in houses too. Special
desks should be established in the schools where students can share or report.
The other
thing is that very little heed is given to the rehabilitation of the victim. He/She
has to live with the scar for life but still we can ease off the pain.
Psychological counseling and therapy can be very helpful in this regard and can
be very helpful in assisting the victim to return to a normal life and once
again become a healthy and contributing member of the society and the state.
However for
all this to happen we must have to accept that abuse whether it is child or
domestic or is of any kind is a problem and it exists in our society. It
requires our attention and it should be dealt accordingly. Without this
realization we will never be able to break this chain of abuse.
